Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
