So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
