Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
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my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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