but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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