I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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