Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My vagina is officially offended.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
