When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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