Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
