Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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