wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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