I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
