Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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