Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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