do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
