Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
