wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
