Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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