yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
