I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
