I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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