At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
