thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
