Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
