she woke up with a sticky ear
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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