You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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