We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's blow job season.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
