5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
