I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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