Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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