So gin and wine won't be happening again
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize