did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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