You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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