i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
