that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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