I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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