It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
