i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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