Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
