Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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