Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize