I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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