is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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