Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How external is "for external use only"?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
