Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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