he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
