my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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