Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
