I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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