he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
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Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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