woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
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The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
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Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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