apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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