My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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