I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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