ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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