I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
you made out with another girl for some wings
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
