Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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