yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
